Last week I got the news that my favorite horse, Tango, passed away peacefully in her sleep during the night. At least we think (and hope) it was peaceful. A week later, it’s still so devastating…
Horses are friends who leave footprints on our hearts.
I hate saying she’s my favorite over my baby horse, but I’ve had her for nine years. She was born in Argentina, and her dramatic and spirited personality were the inspiration for her name. She taught me how to really ride and to actively think while riding. If I jumped into a funny situation, I had to make a decision and ride out of it.. she wanted to be safe (which is very commendable) but that meant she wouldn’t just fix the problem herself by jumping from any distance. She needed my support. She could be so sassy and hot while being ridden, but she tried her hardest every time. Then you could get off her and she would be so sweet and affectionate. I swear it’s like she knew when I was upset and needed some love.
We’ve been through a few serious accidents/falls together, one time with me unconscious for 30 minutes and a helicopter on standby for a possible broken neck (thankfully it was not broken – I didn’t even have a concussion!). We have been pushed and tested, in our bond and in our skills. And we’ve always found a way to overcome whatever obstacle and be stronger. She taught me responsibility and discipline. I didn’t party in high school because I was at horse shows or the barn super early, riding or mucking stalls. It didn’t matter as long as I was at the barn. She was very quirky, but that’s what made everyone love her. She was truly the horse of a lifetime. I always told my parents I would never get rid of her, I would have her until she died. Except her time came way too soon.
I can’t believe she’s gone. It was my dream to live on a horse property and be able to wake up every morning and go out to greet her with kisses and cookies. She was always so happy to see me, greeting me with nickers and cuddles… and begging for cookies.
Oh Cat, I started crying when I read this, it is so beautifully written and I understand this terrible pain. I lost my beloved horse too soon as well and like you said in our email exchange, there is no connection like that with our horses. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time and I wish I could give you a big hug.
I’m here if you need anything at all–someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a laugh to share in this dark time. Losing a horse isn’t like losing a pet… it is a deeper pain than imaginable, because the one you shared a special bond with, who taught you how to be mature in the best of ways, is no longer with us. I am so sorry for your loss and I feel your grief. Take care and let me know if I can help you in any possible way.
Thank you so much Lexi, that means so much. It really is the worst :/
My heart breaks reading this. I’m so sorry Cat.
Thank you Beth